out on Boxing Day.  But they're not the best to have whizzing around your feet when you're carrying scalding hot dishes of vegetables and gravy. Avoid broken legs, burnt heads and ruined furniture by giving toys that aren't self-propelling. However, these can still be tripped over so keep directions to the nearest hospital on the fridge door.

Rule 8:  Guard the Phone:
People love a catch-up with far-flung relatives on
Christmas Day but tend to forget that by the time
everyone at your end has had a work with everyone at the other end, the costs is heaps more than the "don't worry about it" that confidently said with punch-lunch bonhomie.  And don't forget your kids like to win the great "I've got better and more expensive presents than you" race and will phone Jake on holiday in Perth to make sure.

Rule 9:  Keep a well-stocked medicine cabinet
There will be cuts, burns, indigestion and hangovers, so be prepared.  Vitamin C is for Christmas.

Rule 10:  Beware the glass half empty:
No, I don't mean keep everyone topped up, I mean don't leave half empty glasses unattended.  Kids just want to be like you so they are bound to sneak a try.
And you really don't want to have to explain to the
irritable doctor who's been stuck with the Christmas Day shift at casualty why your nine-year-old appears to be drunker than Uncle Bill.

Rule 11:  Don't forget your pets:
Your pets know it's Christmas and expect you to make a bit of an effort for them, too.  Fresh meat is a favourite, a bone for Prince, maybe a bit of topside mince for Felix.  If you ignore them, they will have their revenge.  Many a turkey has been dragged from the table by a dog that's been taken for granted.  And the best-behaved cat can be relied upon to jump into the middle of the table and walk across everyone's plate.

Rule 12:  Have a load of teatowels ready:
And don't forget to include the men!